Welcome
Family Systems therapy
Family systems therapy is a form of psychotherapy that addresses specific issues affecting the health and functioning of a family unit. It focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, strengthening relationships, and understanding dysfunctional patterns within the family system.
"Cynthia has been a pivotal force behind my mental health and wellness and I couldn't be more grateful I found her! I am someone who has always struggled depression and anxiety and when I lost my brother in an accident, my grief made it hard for me to function. I knew I needed to do something. I was fortunate to find Cynthia. Using min
"Cynthia has been a pivotal force behind my mental health and wellness and I couldn't be more grateful I found her! I am someone who has always struggled depression and anxiety and when I lost my brother in an accident, my grief made it hard for me to function. I knew I needed to do something. I was fortunate to find Cynthia. Using mindfulness combined with cognitive techniques, she really helped me first work through my grief, and then dive deeper to help me work through my depression and anxiety issues. She helped me find tools, such as meditation, to use as coping mechanisms versus alcohol and food, as I had used in the past. These tools have really made such an impact in my life in how I currently manage my stress, how I handle change, and how I manage my anxiety and depression. The one thing I appreciate the most about her, is that she helped me to really trust myself, and believe in my own intuition when making choices in my life. " Holly
Services
"THE SOUL HAS NO SECRET THAT THE BEHAVIOR DOES NOT REVEAL."
LAO TZU, Philosopher
If you are seeking counseling, please contact me via email with the following questions:
1) Why are you seeking counseling at this time?
2) Have you been in counseling before?
3) What are your goals in counseling?
4) Who referred me?
5) What is your preferred payment option & virtual session platform?
Pre-Session Payment - PayPal, Venmo, Zelle
Audio/Phone & Virtual Zoom, FaceTime Sessions available
INDIVIDUAL PSYCHOTHERAPY: $200.00
60 Minute Session
COUPLE OR FAMILY PSYCHOTHERAPY: $250.00
60 Minute Session
“Cynthia changed my life. I know that’s a lofty statement but it’s true. Before meeting her, I was stuck in a pattern of destructive self narratives. I had developed a belief that I wasn’t enough and this informed many of the decisions I was making. I had bounced around therapists for several years and thought therapy just wasn’t for me. Then I found Cynthia! In our work together, she has provided me with life-long tools that I use daily -- helping me reframe old narratives while also navigating difficult situations. Her patience and insight is simply incredible! She is hyper attuned to you throughout the entire session. I am beyond grateful for Cynthia and can’t recommend her highly enough." Ashley
Narcissistic Family
"I no longer listen to what people say, I just watch what they do. Behavior never lies." Winston Churchill
Narcissism within a family system creates a deeply dysfunctional environment where a narcissistic individual (usually a parent or sibling) dominates the emotional landscape, turning family members into "supple" to feed their need for admiration, control, and validation. These families often present a perfect, tight-knit facade to the public while operating through fear, manipulation, and chaos internally.
Triangulation: The narcissist forces family members to compete for affection or pits them against each other to prevent them from uniting, often using gossip and lies.
Gaslighting: family members are made to doubt their own memories, perceptions, and reality, often being told they are "too sensitive" or remembering things wrong.
Enabling: Other family members (enablers) accurate the narcissist's bad behavior, often enforcing silence to "keep the peace".
Scapegoating and Golden Child Roles: Children are assigned rigid roles. The "golden child" is praised and enabled, while the "scapegoat" is blamed for all family problems.
The role of narcissistic siblings
Narcissistic siblings can be as harmful as narcissistic parents, employed similar tactics to maintain superiority and control.
Public charm, Private Cruelty: Narcissistic siblings may behave perfectly in front of parents or others but act cruel, condescending, or physically abusive in public.
Unrelenting Competition: they often minimize or steel credit for a siblings, accomplishments, viewing life as a constant competition for parental validation.
Manipulation and sabotage: they may sabotage his siblings, achievements out of jealousy, or use triangulation to make other family members distrust them.
Exploitation: they may use siblings for money, favors, or as a "punching bag" for their own rage.
Coping Strategies
"You can't force someone to respect you. But you can refuse to be disrespected."
Karen Salmansohn
Recovering often requires active effort to protect themselves from the toxic dynamic:
Set firm boundaries: clearly defined acceptable behaviors, and enforced consequences such as limiting or cutting off contact.
Grey rock method: becoming emotionally unresponsive, boring, and uninteresting to the narcissist to reduce their desired to provoke you.
Distance and disengagement: Recognizing that the sibling is unlikely to change and that you cannot fix them.
In some cases, the only way to stop the abuse is to end the relationship with the sibling and sometimes within the enabling family system as a whole.
Seek professional help. Therapy is often necessary to process deep, seated trauma, and build self-esteem.
"I came to see Cynthia because I suffered from anxiety and some depression. I had a difficult time sleeping because of my anxious thoughts. I would wake up tired and unmotivated. I needed to get out of my rut. I had never been to therapy before, so I was reluctant to go but I did because I was getting so desperate. Cynthia invited me into her virtual office very warmly. I felt comfortable right away telling my story. I was introduced to Mindfulness Meditation in the first session. With Cynthia's guidance, I felt I could practice at home. By 6-weeks, I was less anxious and depressed, sleeping better and more self-motivated." Vicki
Resources
"When you feel at sea in an abyss of emotions, reconnecting to the beauty of your soul can be difficult, but it is never impossible." Lorraine Nilon
Sibling Abuse Healing Resources
- UCLA MINDFUL App
Guided Meditations - Free
- Moodpath - the leading mental health app to guide you toward emotional well-being.
- Calm - rated #1 app for Sleep, Meditation and Relaxation, with over 50 million downloads and over 700,000 5-star reviews.
www.unh.edu/saara - Sibling Aggression and Abuse Research and Advocacy (SAARA) Initiative: Based at the University of New Hampshire, this group provides research-based information, resources for families, and training on identifying and stopping sibling abuse.
www.5WAVES.org - A non-profit dedicated specifically to confronting and healing siblings, sexual trauma, offering resources, information, and a peer support.
www.RAINN.org (Rape, Abuse & Incest National network): Provides a 24/7 National Abuse Hotline (800-656-HOPE) and online chat.
Recommended Books
Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD - "Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness"
"Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life"
Daniel Goleman, PhD - "Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ"
Risa Shaw, Ph.D. - "Not Child's Play - Healing from and ending sibling sexual abuse"
Rebecca Mandeville, LMFT - "Rejected, Shamed, & Blamed" Creator of the Mandeville Theory of Systemic Identity Architecture and originator of Family Scapegoating Abuse (FSA)
Judy Tsafrir, MD - "Sacred Psychiatry: Bridging the Personal and Transpersonal to Transform Health and Consciousness"
Fern Schumer Chapman - "Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the road to Reconciliation"
"The Sibling Estrangement Journal"
Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D. - "Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse" and many other books on the subject of narcissism.
Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D. - "Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members"
Brinn Langdale, LMFT - "Everything Makes Perfect Sense, a memoir - A young Woman's Journey to healing and Forgiveness (sibling sexual abuse)"
Alice Miller, PhD - Drama of the Gifted Child: "How Narcissistic parents form and deform the emotional lives of their children"
Cynthia Crosby MA, LMFT
Palm Desert, California, USA
