"You can't force someone to respect you. But you can refuse to be disrespected."

Karen Salmansohn

"We cannot repair broken relationships if they won't take ownership of how they intentionally hurt us. It is the kindest act of self-preservation, self-love, and self-care."  Dana Arcuri

Coping Strategies and Healing

Recovering often requires active effort to protect themselves from the toxic dynamic:

Set firm boundaries: clearly defined acceptable behaviors, and enforced consequences such as limiting or cutting off contact

Grey rock method: becoming emotionally unresponsive, boring, and uninteresting to the narcissist to reduce their desired to provoke you.

Distance and disengagement. Recognizing that the sibling is unlikely to change and that you cannot fix them.

In some cases, the only way to stop the abuse is to end the relationship with the sibling and sometimes within the enabling family system as a whole.

Seek professional help. Therapy is often necessary to process deep, seated trauma, and build self-esteem.

"I came to see Cynthia because I suffered from anxiety and some depression. I had a difficult time sleeping because of my anxious thoughts. I would wake up tired and unmotivated.  I needed to get out of my rut.  I had never been to therapy before, so I was reluctant to go but I did because I was getting so desperate.  Cynthia invited me into her virtual office very warmly. I felt comfortable right away telling my story. I was introduced to Mindfulness Meditation in the first session.  With Cynthia's guidance, I felt I could practice at home. By 6-weeks, I was less anxious and depressed, sleeping better and more self-motivated."   

-Vicki